Imported Painting
I arrived at the party and was greeted warmly by Shami, the host.
“Hello, Rachel! Welcome,” Shami said with a smile.
There were only a few people there when I arrived, so I remarked to Shami, “I guess I’m early.”
“We’re not just neighbors, we’re friends. You should always come early, that’s what friends do,” she replied playfully.
Shami and I are good friends who try to catch up whenever we can, despite our busy lives. She works as a lawyer during the day, but we often hang out on weekends.
“Did you paint your wall?” I inquired, drawn to the brand-new walls embellished with a captivating wall art of a woman in gold. That art caught my attention. Wow.
“Yes, I did,” she replied proudly. “Did you like that golden lady?” she asked, noticing my mesmerized gaze.
“It’s gorgeous, very regal,” I complimented her, still admiring the artwork.
“I bought it last week, imported from Dubai,” she said proudly.
“Oh, it does look imported, not typically Indian,” remarked a voice from behind.
“India excels in creating extraordinary things,” I thought to myself, turning to see who had spoken. It was a lady with short hair, wearing a knee-length skirt, a top, and a blazer—a formal yet stylish look.
“Ah, Auntie, you’re up!” Shami exclaimed happily. “Meet my aunt from Japan.”
“Oh, you’re Shami’s aunt from Japan,” I said. “Shami has mentioned you a lot.”
“Ah, you!” she replied, smiling warmly.
“This is Rachel, my neighbor and friend,” Shami introduced me before she got busy with other guests who were arriving.
What’s Your Identity?
“What do you do? What’s your identity?” Japan Aunt asked me.
“I’m a housewife,” I replied.
“What? Being a housewife is not an identity,” she retorted.
“Homemaker, cleaning, cooking, taking care of kids,” I listed my entire list of responsibilities. I wanted to convey to her that being a homemaker is not easy. It involves a lot of hard work and dedication. That identity is bigger than any office title or job position.
“How many kids?” She asked.
“Two, twins,” I said.
“I have five kids, and I still have a job. I’m a project manager at a renowned company in Japan,” she said proudly.
I felt humiliated and insulted. This is what my husband hates about me. When I feel humiliated, I take it very seriously. I lose my temper, and I just want to prove myself because of the humiliation.
Don’t Dare To Humiliate
Last time at the party, someone teased me about not having a car, even though they said it as a joke. But I felt humiliated and bought a car overnight.
This attitude of not tolerating humiliation has been with me since school. When I was humiliated for getting only 10 out of 100 marks in Mathematics, I scored 100 in the next exam just to prove them wrong. I refuse to sit idle when I feel humiliated.
In college, I gained too much weight over vacation, and some classmates called me “fatty,” which made me feel deeply humiliated. I took action immediately: I started exercising, limited my food intake, threw away all the sweets, and within three months, I was back to my normal weight. When I saw those classmates again, I confidently asked them, “Who’s fat now?” They were speechless, and I laughed triumphantly while enjoying a chocolate. Don’t you dare to humiliate me—I won’t stand for it!
That Japan Lady just awakened the lion in me. Her negative comment about the imported painting, which indirectly humiliated India, struck a nerve. I despised that remark. And now she has humiliated me. Well, I’m going to show her exactly who I am.
Escaping
“Can I push her down?” No, no, I don’t resort to physical violence! But wait, have I really done it before? Yes, multiple times. When someone keeps adding layers to humiliation, I feel like stripping away their emotional armor and letting them bleed physically. Who gives them the right to make me bleed emotionally?
I better stay away from her.
“So, are you lazy?” she asked.
Oh my gosh! What’s this lady’s problem? Why is she getting on my nerves? I have to push her down now. But how? Should I kick her? She looks around 45; it might hurt her. What if I accidentally break her bones? What if the police arrest me? What if her Japan company files a case against me for injuring their project manager? That’s too scary! Let me just escape from her now.
Intro Speech
“Hello, everyone,” Shami began her introduction speech.
I quickly moved to the front row, feeling safe next to her, miles away from that Japan Aunt!
“I want to introduce my Japan Aunt to you,” Shami said.
Oh no! Please don’t bring her here.
Should I move to the back row? But Japan Aunt was quicker than my thoughts, standing next to Shami.
“I’ve called her Japan Aunt since I was a kid, so she’s become everyone’s Japan Aunt in the family,” Shami chuckled. Japan Aunt chuckled too, glancing at me.
Why is she looking at me?
Should I move to the back row? I took four steps backward.
Read Till The End
“I request my Japan Aunt to say a few words to us, ladies. She is an inspiration to all of us,” Shami began to praise her aunt. I scanned the room, noticing it was only ladies. Isn’t it supposed to be mixed? I asked the lady next to me, “Why are there only ladies here? Didn’t any husbands come?”
She replied, “It’s a ladies-only party.”
Oh, I didn’t know. What if I had forced Evan to come to the party? That’s why my mom always says, ‘read till the end.’ She’s been teaching me this since I was a kid, and even now, with two kids of my own, I still haven’t learned that lesson—my brain reads halfway, thinks it’s so clever, and believes it understands everything.
Intro Format
Japan Aunt took the mic and began her speech, “So, ladies, before I introduce myself, I see there are only 15-20 of us gathered here. Let’s start with introductions from each of you. Your name, what you do, and the number of kids you have, that’s the format.”
She’s a project manager, alright. Only project managers would speak about formats and such. Boring project manager!
A lady started, “I’m Rahila, an interior designer, and I have one son.”
Another lady followed, “Jyothika, running a tailoring shop, with three kids.”
“Salwa, dentist, and no kids,” said another.
Return Gift
And everyone started introducing themselves. But wait, are all of them working? Did Shami only invite working ladies? Am I the only housewife here? Where are Ruhi, Lekha, and Zaira? They’re housewives like me, aren’t they invited to the party?
I approached Shami slowly and asked, “Where are Ruhi, Lekha, and Zaira?”
She replied, “Ruhi’s kid is not well, and has a fever. Lekha’s husband has some work, so there’s no one to stay with the kids, and she doesn’t want to bring her four kids to the party. And Zaira’s due date is tomorrow, so she doesn’t want to attend any parties.”
Oh, so all the housewives are busy in their own worlds. I’m the only one who asked my maid to come and stay with my kids for four hours until my husband or I reach home. I’m paying my maid to be at this party, and what am I getting in return? Humiliation. The best return gift. This Japan lady is trying to wake up the lion in me.
The Timing
“What about you, Rachel?” Japan Aunt asked for my intro.
“I’m Rachel, and I have twins,” I said.
“Identity?” Japan Aunt asked.
“Housewife,” I said, feeling embarrassed for some reason.
“You are the only one who has no identity here,” she said.
My phone rang, it was Evan.
“Is the party over? Should I come to pick you up? I’m about to reach there,” he asked. Thank goodness for his timing.
“Yes, sure, I’m coming. Don’t worry, I’ll be there soon,” I reassured him.
“What’s there to worry?” Evan asked, confused
“I’m coming,” I disconnected, ignoring his question.
I hurried over to Shami, “I’m leaving. Evan needs me urgently; he’s about to arrive and requires a file. Sorry, I have to go.” It was a lie, but I just wanted to escape from the party, away from Japan Aunt.
Challenge
“So you’re leaving? We won’t see you again, I suppose,” Japan Aunt smirked.
“I’ll come and meet you. And then I’ll tell you my identity,” I said firmly like a challenge. She had already awakened the lion in me. Congrats to her.
Humiliate me once, I might forgive, but humiliate me twice, and then you don’t deserve my forgiveness.
“We all have our own paths in life, and whatever we choose to do is our own business. Whether it’s being a housewife or pursuing a career in the corporate world, it’s our decision to make. No one should judge or make us feel small for our choices. Our decisions are like our personal shoes, meant only for us to walk in. So why do some people feel the need to criticize or belittle what we choose for ourselves?”
[To be Continued]
10 lessons one could learn from this chapter
- Importance of Friendship: True friends value your presence and encourage you to be yourself.
- Appreciation for Art: Art, whether imported or local, deserves admiration for its beauty and craftsmanship.
- Respect for Different Roles: Every role, whether it’s a homemaker or a project manager, deserves respect and recognition.
- Handling Humiliation: Instead of letting humiliation defeat you, use it as fuel for self-improvement and empowerment.
- Resilience in Adversity: Challenges and humiliations are opportunities for growth and resilience.
- Self-Confidence: Confidence comes from within, not from external validation or titles.
- Avoiding Physical Violence: Resorting to physical violence is never a solution to emotional conflicts.
- Understanding Event Etiquette: Understanding the nature of events before attending them can prevent awkward situations.
- Respect for Choices: Everyone’s life choices should be respected, whether it’s being a homemaker or pursuing a career.
- Standing Up for Yourself: Asserting yourself and standing up against humiliation is essential for self-respect and dignity.
Discovering New Vocabulary
Regal:
- Explanation: “Regal” refers to something that suggests royalty or nobility, often characterized by grandeur, dignity, or magnificence.
- Example: The king’s regal attire, adorned with jewels and gold embroidery, exuded an aura of majesty and power.
Belittle:
- Explanation: “Belittle” means to make someone or something seem less important, valuable, or impressive, typically through disparaging remarks or actions.
- Example: It’s not fair to belittle her achievements just because they don’t align with your own standards of success.
Overcoming Humiliation: Your Guide to Personal Growth
Ever had a moment that left you feeling embarrassed or humiliated? We’ve all been there! But the good news is, you don’t have to let those moments define you. Let’s dive into what humiliation is, how it affects us, and some simple ways to bounce back stronger than ever.
Understanding Humiliation: Ever had someone say or do something that made you feel small or embarrassed? That’s humiliation – it’s like a heavy weight dragging you down and making you doubt yourself.
The Effects of Humiliation: Humiliation lingers long after the moment has passed, making us feel bad about ourselves and our abilities. It’s like a cloud that hangs over our heads, raining down negativity.
6 Strategies for Dealing with Humiliation:
- Embrace It: It’s okay to feel humiliated sometimes – it’s a normal part of life.
- Be Kind to Yourself: Treat yourself with compassion and understanding, just like you would a friend.
- Challenge Negative Thoughts: Question those mean thoughts and replace them with positive ones.
- Share Your Experience: Talking to someone you trust can help lighten the load and remind you that you’re not alone.
- Surround Yourself with Positivity: Spend time with people who lift you up and make you feel good about yourself.
- Stay Present: Focus on the present moment to deal with humiliation calmly and confidently.
Humiliation doesn’t have to hold you back! With a little self-love and support, you can rise above it and emerge even stronger. So, shake off that negativity and get ready to shine!
Question for Readers:
Ever experienced a moment that left you feeling embarrassed or ashamed? How did you handle it, and what did you learn from the experience? Share your thoughts and tips for overcoming shame in the comments below!