Unsaid Goodbye
A week had gone by without any word from Sultan.
As I was cleaning out my wardrobe, I stumbled upon a box of old memories. Inside, there were countless seashells, each painted in vibrant colors. But they weren’t just seashells; they were fragments of moments with Faraz. We both adored the beach and made it a tradition to collect seashells every time we visited. Each one bore a number.
The shell in my hand was number 100. I gently rubbed the number with my thumb, remembering the moment I wrote it. It was on our two-year anniversary. We had gone to the beach, as always, collecting shells to mark the occasion.
I could still hear his voice that day, so clear, as he looked at me and said, “It’s only been two years, but I feel like I’ve known you for 200.”
At the time, those words felt like a promise, like we had an entire lifetime ahead of us.
Over the years, I’d gathered nearly 300 shells—each with its unique color and number.
But the day we parted, we didn’t collect a shell.
That scene replays in my mind like it happened just yesterday.
Flashback
We were sitting on the beach, side by side, as the waves kissed the shore.
“I got my ticket,” I told him softly, “I’m flying next week.”
He said nothing. The silence hung heavy between us.
I couldn’t take it any longer and asked, “Will you wait for me?”
His answer was a dagger: “No, I said yes to a marriage proposal my mom brought.”
At that moment, it felt like we were sitting on two entirely different beaches, miles apart, even though we were just inches away.
I didn’t ask about her. I didn’t want to know. The urge to cry overwhelmed me, but I swallowed it down. I refused to let him see my tears.
We shook hands and exchanged hollow smiles—both pretending to be fine. That was the last time I saw him smile.
When someone decides to leave my life, I’m left with two options: I can either plead for them to stay or release them with grace. Letting go is difficult, but holding on is even more painful and only leads to greater heartache. In the end, it’s always a choice between yes and no.
Navigating God’s Plan
I received a message on my phone—it was Sultan.
“Sorry for the delay. My phone slipped from my hand and the display broke. I just got it fixed today,” he explained.
I replied, “I thought maybe something I said upset you.”
He responded, “No, it’s just that my story is still hard to talk about, but I want to share it with you.”
“I think the past is always painful,” I said.
But not all of it. Three years ago, my past was beautiful. No one envied my life back then, no one said they wished they were living my life. But I was happy—truly happy—maybe…because of Faraz. It wasn’t a ‘maybe.’ It was certain. Now, people look at me and say, “You dreamed of studying abroad, and you did it.” But when I think back, all I feel is the loss. I sacrificed something precious to make that dream a reality.
Sultan continued, “During the pandemic, I got COVID-19. I didn’t take it seriously because I had no fever—just lost my sense of smell and taste. I thought, why be scared of it? Everyone told me to isolate, but I didn’t listen. I kept roaming around.
“My mom kept insisting, ‘You need to stay in your room. I’ll bring your food.’ I finally listened because she was so worried. Being locked up was unbearable for someone like me, who’s always outside.
“By the fifth day, my mom started coughing. Her condition worsened. My body fought the virus easily—I didn’t show any major symptoms—but my mom’s body couldn’t handle it. She was hospitalized, and within a week, she was gone. Just like that, she said goodbye forever. Everyone blamed me. They said if I had been more careful, if I hadn’t spread it to her, she’d still be alive. Since then, I’ve isolated myself in that room, only now I do it by choice. I hate going out. Seeing me like that, my dad sent me to stay with my uncle in the UK. I haven’t been back to India in seven years. Losing my mom changed my entire life. “I feel guilty. If I had been more careful during COVID, I wouldn’t have lost my mom,” he confessed.
I sat there, staring at the screen, unsure how to console him. He had lost his mom and was carrying the weight of that guilt. How do you console someone like that?
I typed, “Sometimes, life takes unexpected turns, and some things are simply predestined. Our time is written by God, and when it’s meant to happen, it will happen. You can’t blame yourself. I remember an accident in my family—one person was seriously injured, and the other had only minor injuries. Everyone assumed the more critical one wouldn’t make it, but it was the opposite. The one who seemed fine died on the seventh day from a sudden cardiac arrest. We were all in shock. God has a plan for everything, and we just have to go along with it.”
In the past, when life spiraled out of control, I would cry for days, flooding my world with tears. But now, I’ve changed. I focus on what I can control—my thoughts, feelings, words, and actions. It’s all part of God’s plan, and I have to find a way to survive in any flood situation.
The Most Shocking News on the Planet
I had been glued to the TV for the last four hours, binge-watching a series, while my mom shouted at me three times already.
I replied, “For the next 24 hours, I’m staying right here in front of this TV. I want to finish this series.”
She shot me a death glare.
From his bedroom, Dad chimed in, “It’s fine, let her watch. She’s coming home after three years.”
Mom clenched her teeth, saying, “You’re being too supportive of her lately.” This sparked a back-and-forth between my parents about me for the next hour.
Then Mom suddenly brought up something serious that caught my attention: “Faraz divorced his wife.”
The remote slipped from my hand. “What? Why? How?” I exclaimed, my face registering shock at the news.
The news hit me like a bolt, leaving me stunned. “Why did this happen now?” I questioned it a million times. I recalled my grandma’s words: sometimes life sends shocking news to help reshape our abnormal lives into something more whole.
For years, my life flowed smoothly,
free from drama.
Then, without warning,
something happened,
shaking my balance.
Was it a gift from God or a hidden curse?
Was it for my good or something worse?
Should I decide,
or let things unfold on their own?
My mind spun, playing out scenes for hours,
For days, until the climax drew near.
But what would that climax be?
If only I could glance at God’s plan book,
just once.
5 Lessons you can learn from this story
- Embrace Unexpected Changes: The sudden news about Faraz’s divorce and Sultan’s painful past illustrate that life can change in an instant. Learning to embrace these unexpected changes can help us navigate through our emotions and find peace amid chaos. “Change is the only constant; embrace it, and let your heart find its rhythm.”
- Treasure Memories and Relationships: The seashells symbolize cherished memories with Faraz. This highlights the importance of valuing our relationships and the moments we share, as they form the foundation of our happiness and can provide comfort when facing loss or change. “In every memory lies a treasure, a piece of our heart that can never measure.”
- Acknowledge and Share Pain: Sultan’s struggle with guilt and loss reflects the importance of acknowledging our pain and being open to sharing it with others. By expressing our feelings, we can find support and understanding, helping us heal from our emotional wounds. “Sharing our pain is the first step to healing; in connection, we find the strength of feeling.”
- Focus on What You Can Control: Hala’s journey from drowning in tears to recognizing the importance of controlling her thoughts and actions emphasizes the power of focusing on what we can manage. By shifting her mindset, she can better cope with situations that are beyond her control. “In the chaos of life, focus on your light; control your thoughts, and take flight.”
- Trust the Process: The chapter ends with a reminder that shocking news can lead to transformation. Hala recalls her grandmother’s words about how life’s surprises can help us move from an “abnormal” state to a more “normal” one. Trusting that everything happens for a reason can help us find meaning in our struggles and guide us toward a brighter future. “In the unexpected, we often find our way; trust the journey, for it leads to a new day.”
About life’s shocks
- Shocks Bring Back Memories We Thought Were Gone
The news of Faraz’s divorce stirred up old emotions for Hala, reminding her of the beautiful yet painful past they shared. Shocks like this bring forgotten memories to the surface, forcing her to confront what still lingers in her heart.
- Shocks Lead to Unplanned Changes
Faraz’s sudden decision to marry someone else years ago changed Hala’s life path entirely. Shocking events like that often come before major life shifts, pushing her into directions she never expected.
- Old Wounds Resurface When We Least Expect
Hearing about Faraz’s divorce made Hala relive the pain of their last beach memory together. Moments like this show that even when she thinks she’s moved on, certain shocks can reopen old wounds, revealing that healing is still a journey.
- Shocks Teach Us to Let Go of What We Can’t Control
Sultan’s guilt over losing his mother during COVID shows the difficulty of accepting that some things are beyond Hala’s control. Life’s shocks remind her that no matter how hard she tries, she can’t change the past or control everything.
- Shocks Make Us Stronger, Even When It Hurts
Whether it’s losing Faraz or Sultan losing his mother, these moments of shock force Hala to build inner strength. Though painful, they shape her into a more resilient individual, teaching her how to cope with life’s unpredictability.
A Question for Readers
When life changes unexpectedly, how do you stay strong and handle your feelings while remembering the good times?