My Nervous Heart: Conquering My Interview Anxieties
I decided to go for three interviews to gain some experience in giving them. Messages from Japan Aunt keep coming every morning, serving as either a reminder or a warning—I can’t quite tell! This morning, she messaged, “All the best on your 15th day!”
Fifteen days have already passed, and so far, my progress is that I have three interviews scheduled in a row. Today is my first interview for a teaching position, tomorrow is for an office admin position, and the day after tomorrow is for an assistant HR position. Am I excited? Not at all. I’m scared to death.
I don’t know why! Evan said it’s normal to be nervous and that some people even get “interview fever.” I touched my forehead to check if it was hot. No, it’s cold. I don’t have interview fever, but my heart is still racing.
Evan was taking a bath while the kids had already gone to school. He is going in late for the next three days to drop me off for my interviews. Thankfully, all three interviews are scheduled for the morning. My mind was racing with thoughts—more than usual!
“In 10 minutes, we have to leave, or else you’ll be late for your first interview,” Evan said as he dried his hair with a towel.
“I think I’m too nervous,” I admitted.
He came over and kissed me, and after a few seconds, he asked, “Now are you okay?”
“I don’t know,” I replied, as thoughts of the interview returned.
“It’s normal,” Evan said sheepishly. “I had an upset stomach before my first interview.”
“Really?” I asked, surprised.
“Yes, so it’s okay,” he said, patting my head.
“Now I feel calm. I think the patting works better than the kiss,” I said with a wink.
“Then I’ll pat more,” he laughed, continuing to pat my head and saying, “It’s okay.”
“Try saying ‘all is well’ with your hand on your chest like Aamir Khan did in ‘3 Idiots’ if you still feel off balance,” Evan suggested.
“I still feel nervous,” I admitted.
“It’s okay to be nervous. It means you’re trying something new. Nervousness is good, not bad,” Evan reassured me.
He was right. These interviews are new experiences, and that’s why I’m feeling nervous. Whenever I do something new, I always feel nervous. But that nervousness has always helped me grow and reach new heights. So, nervousness isn’t bad; it’s good. It’s a sign that I’m growing.
Nervous? That’s just a sign you’re growing. Embrace it—you’re on your way up!
First Interview: Tell me About yourself
“Tell me about yourself,” the interviewer asked. She was a woman who looked around my mom’s age, with a head full of white hair. Was it natural, or had she dyed it? Her face was youthful, a striking contrast to her hair.
“I’m Rachel, and… I’m Rachel, and… I’m Rachel,” I stammered, my nerves waging a war inside me.
“This is a teaching position,” the interviewer said. “If you can’t tell me about yourself properly, how will you teach students? You need to be articulate enough to at least introduce yourself.”
I felt humiliated.
“You can go,” she said.
Was my first interview over after the first question? I wanted to give a proper introduction, but the words were stuck. I remained seated.
“You can go,” she repeated.
I stood up and walked out. Another candidate was ready to enter.
Tears welled up in my eyes; I had messed up my first interview on the very first question. As I walked out, I thought I saw Mark, Mary, and Evan waiting for me. But as I wiped my eyes, I realized it was just Evan and a couple of students talking to him. When I approached, they left.
I slid into the car. Evan asked, “How was it?”
“Start the car, I want to eat something,” I said.
He knew from my tone that things hadn’t gone well. He started the car and stopped at one of our regular juice spots.
“Two grape juices,” he ordered.
“Now, tell me,” Evan said.
“I messed up my first interview with the first question itself,” I said, starting to cry.
“It’s okay,” he comforted me.
“What was the question?” he asked.
I hesitated, but he asked again.
“Tell me about yourself,” I said.
He burst out laughing. “Didn’t you know how to talk about yourself?”
I glared at him and got out of the car.
He followed me with the grape juice, offering me mine, but I refused.
Taking a sip of his juice, he said, “You need to answer that question in a past-present-future structure.”
I got interested. “How?” I asked.
“First, drink your juice,” he said, extending it to me. He knew how to trick me.
I started drinking the juice.
“First, talk about your past experiences or achievements,” he explained. “Then, describe your current situation. Finally, outline your future career goals. That’s how you should structure it.”
I now had an idea of how to handle the question.
“You didn’t prepare enough, so you couldn’t perform well,” he said.
He was right. I hadn’t prepared well for my interview, and that’s why I performed poorly. When we give 100% effort, we get 100% results.
Second Interview:
The next day, I was at my second interview, waiting for my turn. I had prepared well for the “tell me about yourself” question.
“Rachel,” they called my name.
I went inside to find a young man on the other side, wearing glasses. The room was spacious, with a large table that could easily accommodate fifteen people, likely a meeting room. A computer screen hung on the wall. He looked like a tech guy!
I took my seat.
“Hello Rachel, before we start the interview, I’d like to know which tools you’re proficient in,” he said.
I didn’t quite understand his question and looked at him confusedly.
“Microsoft office suite such as PowerPoint, Excel, and there are some project management tools also. In which tools are you expert in?” he clarified.
“I’m not an expert in any tools, but I can learn them easily,” I replied.
“You have a minimum of two years’ experience as an office admin, right?” he asked.
“No, I’m a fresher,” I said.
He fell silent for a moment.
“I’m sorry, we are looking for an experienced candidate. I don’t know how this mistake happened,” he said.
I sat there, staring blankly, unsure of what to say. I just wanted to tell him to ask me the “tell me about yourself” question because I was prepared enough to answer it.
“You can go. I will contact you if there’s a position for a fresher,” he added.
Rejected from my second interview at the first question itself, I left the room feeling dejected. I was so frustrated that I even decided not to attend any more interviews.
When Evan heard about the situation, he tried to comfort me, patting my head and saying it was okay. I hated that.
As we were leaving, he asked, “So, what about tomorrow’s interview? What time is it?”
“I’m not going,” I said.
“It’s okay, such things happen,” Evan tried to calm me down.
“Don’t say it’s okay and don’t pat me. I hate it,” I snapped, my voice thundering.
He fell silent. We reached home and no one discussed the interview for the rest of the evening. Evan likely told the kids not to bring it up. I went to bed determined not to attend any more interviews. Let’s forget about tomorrow’s interview.
I just can’t handle too many failures in a row. Maybe that’s my real problem.
Next day at my second interview, waiting for my turn. I have prepared well for tell me about yourself.
“Rachel,” they called my name.
I went inside- there was a young man on the other side- wearing specks. The room was very spacious. The table was too big, 15 people can accommodate it, maybe it’s a meeting room.
There was computer screen on the wall.
I took my chair.
“Hello Rachel, before entering the interview, I would like to know in which tools are you expert?”
I did not know understand his question.
I confuseldly looked at him.
“PowerPoint, excel, in which tools are you expert?” he asked.
“I’m not expert in any tools, but I can learn it easily,” I said.
“You have minimum of 2 years experience as office admin right?” he asked.
“No, I’m…fresher,” I said.
After that he did not say anything.
“I’m sorry, we are looking for an experienced candidate, I don’t know how this mistake happened,” he said.
I’m stirring there blankly without saying anything.
“You can go, I will contact you if there is any fresher position,” he said.
I’m rejected from my second interview also at first question itself.
I don’t know what is the problem. I was so pissed and even took the decision of not giving any interviews anymore mentally.
When Evan came to know about this situation, he did the same- patting my head and said it’s okay. Now I hate him doing that.
As we were going he asked, “so what about tomorrow’s interview? At what time?”
I said, “I’m not giving.”
“It’s okay, such things happens,” Evan tried to calm down.
“Don’t say it’s okay and pat me, I hate it,” I said, my voice sounded like thunder.
He was silent. We reached home. No discussion happened about it. Till I go to sleep, nobody discussed about my interview. Maybe Evan informed kids not to ask anything. I went to the bed with 100% determination that I won’t give interview.
I can’t handle too much failures in a row, maybe this is only my problem.